5 years ago, I willfully, and shamefully, yet still laughing, surrendered everything I had to God. I was done. Waving my white flag. After years of fighting for life myself, I was met with a challenge I knew would never be accomplished on my own. I had #cancer. I was defeated. As I sat there laughing at God’s funny way of ‘waking me up’ I made a promise, to both God and myself, that I was gonna let him have control, not just of my cancer, but of everything.
5 years later what I’ve learned is that I didn’t turn in to a magic puppet that is completely controlled at every move. Bummer.
I have to keep saying ‘Yes!!’ over and over again, to allow his will to flood and invade my life. What I’ve also learned is that trying to avoid a few of those requests doesn’t make them go away…. Ugh. After a year of #commit2017, I’m diving in and saying Yes! to those things God wants of me that I’ve been trying to avoid, and I’m trying to be as willful as I can from the start. But it’s hard, isn’t it? I’m gracefully broken…
When this song came out, it just really sang the unintelligible words my heart professes. It helps me to remember to acknowledge God’s promises to me, when it’s so easy to forget. I want to make saying yes, over and over, in full surrender, something I do more often than ever before, arms wide open.