pressure, what?

Summer.  Who the heck invented this whole ‘no school for the summer’ thing.  Garbage I tell you.  What in the world are we to do all summer? And when in the heck am I actually gonna be able to go grocery shopping? Or take a shower even?

I’ve been a little quiet here @tatyduff, its been a little complicated.  Summer, new treatment, new house, and I forgot my password… 12 lockouts and the most roundabout way logging in, and I’m here.  Not sure if I’ll ever figure out again how I got here, but today I’m here.  And its summer.

This morning we were out of juice. So I grabbed a strawberry probiotic shot and mixed it with water and called it juice.

Monday I dragged drove 5 kids to the pool and dunked my head in and called it a shower.

A kid peed on his shoes the other day and I threw them in the dryer for a few minutes and called them clean.

Fruit rollups may now be considered real fruit.

The trampoline is my new babysitter. Its like a big.giant.playpen.
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I may have made a new ‘no more crying rule’.  No longer allowed, can’t handle it.

It took 2 weeks for one particular child to not cry when I gave a math worksheet to do everyday.  I mean really.  You’re awake 14 hours of the day, you can take 20 minutes to do a math worksheet. I.mean.really.

In all seriousness though, what am I stressing about? Oh, thats right.  Just when you think summer school is going to be a blessing, but then realize the first day that you actually have to wake the beasts kids up even earlier than a regular school day… Ugh. Summer.

I thought summer was being lazy, sleeping in, having picnics and going to the pool?

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No. Its not.  Lazy now equates to not having showered.  If I get a shower, its a true accomplishment that day.

Sleeping in is a thing of the past, throwing crackers and a gogurt at the backseat is the new ‘picnic’, and the pool is really like going on a security patrol, making rounds, overseeing that my precious minions aren’t flashing the other patrons or stealing someones cotton candy…again….

I mean, is this what we’re supposed to be doing anyway?  Every day that I wake up, I feel like Frankie Heck on garbage day…  This can’t possibly be the fun summer that everyone brags about on facebook.  Its really not as photogenic as you’re making it look, right? Two kids are laughing and playing frisbee at the park, but just outside the frame your 3rd child is smearing themself in goose poop, right?

It just doesn’t look like what I imagined it would in my house.  You add the constant layer of construction dust around here, new chemo, and hubby’s neverendingly long work day, and I get more of a cross between free wristband day at the carnival and the new Jurassic Park movie set in the Sahara Desert. (Its really hot here, right? Or is it just me?)

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There’s so much pressure all the time, I’m more than cooked. I’m well done.

Or am I?

As I thought about it this morning, I realized how much it was all in my head.  We were out of juice, remember? I don’t even think I thought twice about it.  Walked right to the fridge, grabbed a prob shot, dumped it in. Juice.

No shower? Little dunk in the pool. Felt much better.

When I really thought about it, all the craze in my head was simply that. In my head.  I’m actually quite surprised at how calm I’ve been. How relaxed and lazy this summer really is.  How easily I show up somewhere, not remembering the last real shower I had, and the thought doesn’t even cross my mind.

What is true peace anyways? Is it just the presence of calm? The absence of pressure?  Or is there more to finding peace than desiring stillness.

The more I think today, spending a year learning to #cutthecrap from my life, gone done me more good than I thought.  Searching for Gods definition of true peace and working hard to apply what I found to my life also removed fear, worry, doubt, offense, confusion…

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I recognize the silliness of status quo, political correctness, and societies implied parenting thresholds. A sword comes to separate and weed out the nonsense. Confidence in my purpose, and eager submittal to God’s will, conjures up this massive amount of peace.  It still takes a lot of work to filter, and sometimes I start letting crap pile up again.  Its hard to remember to pray, repent, correct, rectify, washrinserepeat.

Life is hard.  Yes. But less crap, more peace equals quick recovery.

Kids disregulated? Ok. We’ll stay home, you take the other two. There’s a Chopped marathon on anyway!

Chemo got you tied to the bathroom? No problem, move the hangout to our place. (Cuz really, everyone really DOES understand. #chemosnojoke).

Its 8pm and just now realizing you haven’t made/had/served/planned dinner? Thats ok, run around the corner and pick up some pizza.

Kids taking 3 hours on the ‘telling time’ worksheet? No problem, sit down and write and edit a blog. (If you can remember your password of course)

Really want a shower? Tell the kids the person that jumps the longest on the trampoline gets candy for lunch. (They’ll be there til dinner, I promise).

Relax. Find a chair for the porch. Go out there in your pajama’s, in the middle of the day, with no makeup, and don’t be too shy to talk with the neighbors.  Life truly changed for me when I stopped imagining myself next to other peoples standards and started dumping the junk in my life.

Summer is fun. Its ok to be fun. But don’t take the summer off from your purpose and achieving goals. Things might then start to feel hectic and overwhelming..

I once heard someone on the radio say that allowing doubt means you don’t think God is bigger than whatever you’re facing.  I thought that was really profound. Its hard to push out the thoughts sometimes.

Am I providing enough experiences for my kids this summer? Are they going to have memories to last a lifetime? Because thats what social media tells us summer should be, right?

Um, nope.  When I let doubt creep in, everything went to hell in a handbasket.  Then I put my foot down and said,

“You know what?! Following Christ with my life, doesn’t take the summer off.”

Surprise! Following Jesus through the summer just got interesting for the Duffy’s.  There’s new, exciting challenges. New lessons, new disciplines, new studies.  A new adventure, and wills and plans to be achieved. And funny.  Summer seems to be happening right along with it.

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